FALL (part 2) - An E-mail I didn't send to Scott

It just must be the season!
Ok, your probably wondering why start with part 2? Well, I started thinking about change yesterday and came up with the idea for this blog. While driving around at work thinking about it some more, I remembered something from a year ago that i always found interesting and just kinda thought how it fit into my mood for this. I thought it would be a good idea to post it and think about it a little more before completing part 1. It is something my friend Leanne wrote. She is a awesome writer so you should go read her blog. An E-mail I didn't send to Scott. As I was looking this up I came across another of her blog's that is very interesting and kinda fits in with the theme here. In Memory of Mark Parsons....
I really connected with her email at the time. Almost like it had some subliminal message in it just for me, one that only I understand. It still does I guess, thats why I enjoy reading it. If you don't understand it, read it again. Or read my other blog Reflection . Everything here has a very similar feel to it. The blogs and the pix are from late September to early October. So if you find yourself in a blue funk (like the photoshop'd photo above) it could just be the time of year.
Incase the link for her blog wont let you view it, here is the E-mail she never sent to me:

An E-mail I didn't send to Scott:
I had this really good friend from Warner when I worked there, and we held each other accountable to a rule when we were IMing... "No Deleting." You can tell because at the bottom of the AIM screen it tells you "your buddy is typing" or "your buddy has entered text" (that's when they start typing and stop..either because they walked away or they're backspacing)...I don't know, seemed like a good way to keep the friendship open without any judgments, like liberating each other to say whatever we wanted to, whatever was on our minds, without worrying about what the other would think. I say "had" a friend, because we haven't really been friends this entire year of 2005 when something magically changed, but I don't know what, and can't seem to ascertain any reasons or answers. I guess my point is, in response to your e-mail, sometimes people just ramble on, and it may mean something in the moment, but a second later, once expelled, its meaning is lost entirely. I don't know. See? I'm rambling, too.
I'm really really sad today. I think it's the rain and this book I have to read for class called "Gilead." It's about this dying pastor, writing a letter to his 6 year old son before he passes away, and it's just got me feeling incredibly low, and except for the eruption of feelings, there's this apathy on the edges, so I can't quite put my finger on my emotional state, if that makes any sense. And I am really deeply missing my friends at the beach, the sunshine and the waves. There was this magic on Venice Beach unlike I've ever felt before in my life, and I guess I have yet to sense that intensity here since I've been back. You know when you lose a sweatshirt, or something, but you don't notice it's gone for like a month or two, and when the weather gets chilly you think, "Hey, I'm going to wear my favorite sweatshirt (that you haven't needed for the summer)" and you go to look for it and it's gone. And you can't remember where you had it last, but you know deep down you left it somewhere, and feel kind of guilty for not noticing when you lost it...I guess that's how I feel right now. It's not that I feel I'm without purpose, it's just that I feel like I'm lost, and my purpose is to find my way out of wherever it is that I am.
Oh well, it was bound to hit me sooner or later, the fact that I can't just run down to the beach and see the ocean. But man, it really makes me sad right now.
Monday September 26, 2005 - 11:45am (EDT