Insomnia

Without sleep everything becomes and out-of-body experience. I haven't slept well for quite a while now. I have been a night owl and a restless sleeper for many years. Some times my sleep aphnea wakes me up, other times I choke on a lack of air and go right on sleeping. I don't actually know this, but it's what I have been told. This is different though. It hit me Monday night. Last week I would dream that I couldn't breath, my heart would beat so hard it would wake me up. This is different though. I wish that I could sleep as well as I did last week. Monday night I slept for half a hour. Got up and wasn't even tired. I could feel it in my mind, in my sub-conscious, but my body was up and alert. Last night wasn't much better. I was in a nice comfortable bed, but I still didn't get more than an hour and a half of sleep. Tonight, I'm out with friends. They all tell me how tired I look and that I should get some sleep. I agree, but its kinda hard when you feel like you just drank a pot of coffee. Your body is willing, but your mind just wont rest.

Have you ever seen the movie Fight Club? Or better yet, read the book? Its kinda like that feeling. You don't know who you are or where your at. You vaguely know, but your not exactly sure. Do you even want to know? You want to sleep, your body wants to rest, but your mind wont let you. You feel like you are two people inhabiting the same body, each demanding equal time to go enjoy life but not having the energy to do it. Everything seems so familiar, but your not sure if you have actually been here before.

Its been a long year. A year I haven't slept much. For a night owl like me, who has to get up early for work, I'm used to being sleep deprived. 2 hours in 2 nights is more than I can take.

WATSON 363 take me away!