First Light

I can’t feel my toes. Its 16 degrees out and I have been outside for over 3 hours.

“First Light” is an astronomy term used to refer to the first use of a telescope for astronomical viewing. I got my telescope at the beginning of December but have not had a chance to use it till last night. I have never been into lunar eclipses that much. I have seen them before and although I always thought they were cool, they just never excited me that much. I was planning on observing the eclipse, but was leaning toward not taking the scope out. It was cold and to see anything well the scope has to cool down to the outside temperature. So if I took it out that meant I was committed to freezing my ass off for at least an hour even if I set it out ahead of time. My friend Craig, who is the person that got me into astronomy, had sent me a few emails about the eclipse and the spy satellite. So I decided to call him instead of sending an email. He told me how he was not a big fan of lunar eclipses also, until a few years ago he took his scope out to look at one. He said the best part was watching the line of the shadow move slowly across the moon. So I decided I had better put the scope out on the back porch to let it cool down enough so it didn’t fog over when I tried to use it.

So around 8:30, I start moving the scope from the back porch to the front porch. Being the geek I am, people call me with questions, so that’s when the phone calls start. Everything from questions about when the eclipse started (some news reports misquoted the times), to questions about what settings to use to take pictures of the moon. The 2nd one was one I didn’t know much about, but over the next hours I figured it out. If you look at the pictures I took you can see some of the differences, the really bad pictures I didn’t include.

I have mentioned in past blogs how during hunting season I love how the color of the world slowly changes from black & white to color in the early morning hours. Its not quite as drastic of a change as when Dorothy opens the door after she lands in OZ, but beautiful none the less. Quite a fitting reference I think, since this week I watched the Wizard of Oz while listening to Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon. Its awesome to watch the moon go from white to gray, then to red. Its especially cool when its white & red and you can see the thin line of gray in between the two colors. The detail through the scope was so beautiful. The pictures are a very poor representation of the actual view through the scope but they are still very cool. In the one picture of Saturn you can see a blurry image because my hands were shaking so bad from the cold. Looking through the scope at Saturn you can actually see the gap between the rings and 3 or 4 of its moons. The most beautiful moment was right before the full eclipse. As the moon went from a bright light to a dull red all the background stars that were previously hidden by the moons bright glare, begin to shine. It was beautiful and, unfortunately, beyond the range of my digital camera to capture.

So now that I'm back on track with my long last past time be sure to look me up when the weather gets nicer. Until then you can check out my February 20, 2008 lunar eclipse photos. Just remember that looking through the scope is 100X better than the pictures I took!

D - 4

My bags are packed and I am ready to go!

4 days, West Coast here I come!

New Year 2008

I'm sure your wondering why its the second half of February and I am just posting a blog about New Years. Well I guess in some ways today definitely starts a new year for me. 49 days ago I made a resolution to not make any New Years resolutions and so far I have stuck with it and don't plan on making any new ones today.

Its been a good year so far. I have already have a few good adventures, some good stories, tried some new things along with a fair share of letdowns and some long overdue finality. Also I have some new adventures planned with and optimistic outlook upon the horizon.

What makes today a new year is because after today things are going to be different. If I'm feeling sorry for myself, maybe I am being a little selfish. This morning I picked up Randy, his wife Sue, his boys Hayden (13) & Adam (11). I drove them to the State College airport so they could see Randy off. He is in the Navy and is going to be deployed to the Persia Gulf for the next year. I felt very honored to be the one to drive them all there, but it was definitely not enjoyable to drive his wife and 2 sons back to Tyrone after that plane left the ground.

I have never had problems with sad goodbye's. I remember when I was 17 and left for the army. I got on the bus in Meadville and was excited about the new experiences I would go through. I said my goodbyes and didn't look back as I got on the bus. Then one of the other guys on the bus made a comment about someone being missed already. I looked out the window and there my family was. My mom, dad, sisters, grandmother, future brother-in-law & his sister. There was definitely some sadness there but they were waving and trying to smile. My dad was a mess. I don't remember my first day of school but I remember what my mom says about it. I remember she told me I walked right on the bus and never looked back. I don't remember my mom saying if they cried or not, but if I had to guess, I would say they did and my dad was crying the hardest. I also remember 7 1/2 years ago, when I moved from Meadville to Tyrone. My mom helped me pack up all my stuff & clean my apartment. She was so strong the entire time. My dad stopped over the night before I left, while my mom & I were still packing. His closest friends call him "Tank" but you wouldn't have believed it that night to see him leaning against the tree next to the Ryder truck crying his eyes out. I'm sure someday when I have kids of my own it will be they same way. They will walk off into the great unknown, never looking back, and I will be crying like a baby.

About 2 months prior to moving here was when I met Randy. My boss wanted me to transfer down here, it was more money and a lot more responsibility. When I started working down here Randy was my boss. I lived in a hotel for 2 months till I decided I was going to take the job. Then I moved into the apartment above his garage & he was also my landlord. I was like the Fonz. I remember the first day I was down here, we went drinking after work that Monday, then again on Tuesday. We skipped Wednesday because I was throwing up at work, but we were back at it Thursday along with my old boss who also managed central PA. That's how things went for the next few years. Back in those days I drank enough to kill a mortal man. We both got each other in and out of a lot of trouble. Its not like one of us had to twist the other ones arm, we both just kinda went along for the party. It was a good time, that I will never forget, and I wont ever regret most of it :)

We have both settled down a lot in the last 3 years. I guess that sometimes you have to have to be brought to the edge of destruction, or at least mess your life up a little bit. This doesn't fit the song meaning but I love the Van Halen lyric "I been to the edge, an' there I stood an' looked down. You know I lost a lot of friends there baby, I got no time to mess around".

I know some people don't understand my relationship with some of my friends. I had and ex that couldn't relate to my friends. I used to have a lot of friends. I still do, but mostly I spend time with the few that I consider family. I have mentioned many times before about when I was going through a rough time and my friends took care of me. Its kind of ironic, when the person that put you through some of those times doesn't respect the people that pulled you out of them. A lot of people do understand though. As we were going through the multiple "going away" parties, different people have jokingly said that they weren't worried about Randy or Sue, they were worried about how I was going to adapt. Its funny, people at work know a different side of me than people that know me socially. On more than one occasion someone at work has referred to us as "Jay & Silent Bob". For those of you that don't know Randy, you will be shocked to know that they are referring to "me" as "Silent Bob".

So there I am, back on one of those 60 degree days back in January, contemplating. Thinking about how this new year will effect everyone. I have done very well for myself down here. I am far away from my family or anyone I grew up with. Yet I have been able to establish such a close knit group of friends that they seem like family. I have been to their family reunions and they have been to mine. Some of us have seen sides of each other that we never wanted to see, but will probably make jokes about it till the day we die. We have shared our deepest thoughts and at times have known each other so well that the story was understood long before it was ever told. There are inside jokes that will never be told and inside jokes that I wish some of them would stop telling.

This will definitely be a different year. For some reason I feel very positive about my life over the next year. I think its going to be a busy year with many exciting things going on. I will definitely miss Randy though. He has been my mentor and my brother. In some way's he has advised me like a father. Seeing my strengths that I never knew were there. Understanding what I was going through without me ever saying something was wrong. He was also the guy that would always tell the prettiest girl in the room that I was gay, but he always was kind enough to add that I was trying to quit. Everyone loves Randy but if there was one thing people don't understand about him, its his sense of humor. It didn't matter what tragic event was going on in my life, at some point he would make fun of it. The great thing was that when something happened to him, he was always the first to make fun of it. People that didn't know that about him would sometimes take offense, but if you knew him you knew there was no reason to be offended. Luckily for me he will be only gone for a year, because if I get my heart broken anytime soon I don't know who is going to feed me. I guess it will have to be Diane.

February 20.....weather permitting....

If the weather cooperates, which it rarely does, you can see the lunar eclipse that's happening this Wednesday night. I just wanted to remind everyone to check it out. It will be the last total lunar eclipse till Dec. 2010. For more info check out the link here. If you want to check it out the eclipse starts at 8:43pm EST & ends a little after Midnight. The total eclipse starts around 10PM. If its clear out than give me a call. I may get the scope out. I still haven't had an official "First Light" with it yet, and I'm getting a little anxious.

Lilium Stargazer

What a strange holiday. Sometimes I think it brings more sadness than it does love. I have noticed over the last few years that every holiday seems to bring some kind of sad memory back to someone. Today though, just seems to have more of a general “Bah Humbug” about it.

I actually only can remember 4 valentines days that actually stick out. I’m sure there were other times that I did something special, but they just never created a memory. Most of the time I was single on valentines day, or if I wasn’t single there was some circumstance where I didn’t spend the day with the person I was seeing.

Eleven years ago was the first v-day that I can remember. At the time I didn’t even realize it was v-day, but was in a funk and decided to do something crazy. So I went and got my right nipple pierced. It was purely coincidental that I got it done that day, but since I was still bitter about a recent breakup I kind of used that as the reason, after the fact. Then 3 years ago, after my next serious break up, someone asked me why I got pierced and why I only got one done. After telling the story I decided I might as well get the other one done that v-day. I didn’t get them done for any emotional reasons, they just seemed like a fun thing to do, and it gives me a good story to tell. My v-day 6 years ago was the only one of the 4 that was even remotely romantic, but at this point there is no reason to go into detail about that one. 2 years ago was just an awkward situation. I made my first attempt at ending things with a girl I was kinda sorta seeing. All we did was drink and get on each others nerves. I was in a bad place in my life during that time. I felt bad about breaking up with her on v-day but it was a situation I didn’t need or want to be in and my head was definitely still thinking about 6 years ago.

This year I had a blast. My friend Randy is going away next Monday and will be gone for a year, so our friend Diane cooked a ton of food and we had a sort of going away dinner for him. That was the last all of us will get to hang out together for about a year. This area has lots of good places to eat but I am always disappointed that there are no real good mom & pop Italian places like I am used to. Fortunately, having dinner at Diane’s, makes up for all of that. I ended up taking enough leftovers for 7 meals. My grandmother would be proud.

I was going to talk about some of the people I ran into this week that were dreading v-day and how it was bringing them down, but decided against it. There were quite a few, trust me. Instead I figured I would post some relevant and funny quotes I came across while reading the news online. As for the pic, its not v-day flowers but they are flowers I got a few years ago for my b-day and decided I would practice some of the new tricks I'm learning on Photoshop.

Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness.
BERTRAND RUSSELL

­Many a man has fallen in love with a girl in a light so dim he would not have chosen a suit by it.
MAURICE CHEVALIER

Everything we do in life is based on fear, especially love.
MEL BROOKS

Nobody loves me but my mother, and she could be jiving too.
B.B. KING

Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
DOROTHY PARKER

Lost in thought and lost in time, While the seeds of life and the seeds of change were planted. Outside the rain fell dark and slow, While I pondered on this dangerous but irresistible pastime. I took a heavenly ride through our silence. I knew the moment had arrived, For killing the past and coming back to life.
PINK FLOYD

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
THE BEATLES